Pure Panic

I have been catching up on episodes of Ally McBeal because yeah, I'm that far behind and I was watching the episode where Haley Joel Osmet guest stars as a little boy who is suing God because he is dying of cancer shortly after his father died and his church will not help with the money for treatment even though his family has been regular donors to the church and stuff. Very touching and just heart wrenching.

This episode not only made me cry but also made my heart race...

Race? you ask

Yes, because as a mother I always get that purest sense of panic and anxiety wondering, Could that happen to my child?

I never used to think about that until the word Autism came into my life.

Now I fear everything and anything!!

I know we cannot control every thing in life and therefore should not worry about every little detail or thing beyond my control but still...I'm a mom...Its in my nature to worry...Its in my nature to want control...I hate nature sometimes!!

My panic list:
The influences their friends have on them.

Their naiveté about many things in life.

Not having all the answers to their questions or not explaining things properly to them.

And then there are the other horrors...kidnapping, car accidents, illnesses beyond my control, school shootings, child abusers,  child molesters

I know as parents we all get these fears and panic moments...its just natural.

I just hate it when they take over my every moment of thought and breath sometimes. My children are growing up. It scares me!

They don't see the world and all of its dangers. And its not like the dangers were not there before. These things have been going on since the beginning of time. They were just not as talked about as often or "in your face" when we were younger. Maybe its because our parents shielded us from it all just as we shield our children.

Whoever said being a parent was going to be easy lied. Its a panic every moment of every day. Hoping that your children wake up healthy every morning and go to bed with a smile on their face, happiness warming their bodies, and love in their hearts.

Just take it one day at a time is what I am trying to do as I bet you are as well....oh, and reciting this as well...

God, grant me the

SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change

the COURAGE to change the things I can,

and the WISDOM to know the difference.

Love your kids every day, hold them, hug them, because we can't keep them in a bubble for long