Time and family...

2011 was the biggest change of my life.

I got divorced.

I made the choice for the betterment of my children to leave them with their father and I move away. This was the hardest decision I ever had to make but it was right for them. They needed their stability and their routines to stay the same. I am still a part of their lives, I wish it was more but at least I have them and they have me.

I also met Paul, the most incredible man in the world. He has accepted me for who I am and has accepted my children as well. This is no easy feat as I am not the easiest person to get along with and my children are not the easiest to deal with.

2012 was calming in a sense.

Things settled down. I finished school finally and I started a job that I thoroughly enjoy and have met the most amazing people.

This year also gave me a new definition of family. The family that I always imagined is no longer the family that I want. The family that I have now is the true perfect assembly that I never knew I wanted.

My children are growing and smiling; I am learning from them every day on how to be a better mom and a better person. I am blessed to have such wonderful children who are so unique and have given me a different outlook on life that I never thought was possible.

Paul is my rock. He keeps me grounded and makes me feel deserving of the good things in my life. I could never have imagined a more perfect partner to share my life with.

I have cousins who are closer to me than cousins, they are like true sisters. I have friends who have also taken the role of siblings as well. I have more parents aside from the two I was born with and who have shown me what it feels like to belong.

This isn’t to say that things have been perfect. Far from it.

I have doubted myself. I have questioned my choices. I have sat up at night worrying and fearing the worst. I have cried myself to sleep. I have been angry at the people closest to me for no reason at all. I have belittled myself and thought I didn’t deserve even a smile on the face of my children.

There are so many things that I need to work on. There are things that I need to change. There are things that I need to fix.

I don't know what 2013 has in store for me but I do know one thing...its going to bring more change and better things. It will bring with it challenges and obstacles but with my new family by my side, I can make it.