Well, it's 2012 - now what?

Wow! It's been a while since I have been on here...the dust has really settled - almost set off my asthma!! And the spider webs...oh they are so pretty but oh so scary looking at the same time. I gotta remind myself to get on a ladder and clean those up soon...that is if I plan on staying a while, with me, you never know...

So, what has "out with the old, in with the new" meant for me on this auspicious first day of the year?

Well, it means throwing out all the negative energy that I have had for quite some time and make space for the good things that are to come.

If there is one thing that I have learned from the last few days of the year is that I am in control of my life, nobody else.

Between relationships with family and friends that have not gone as planned or how I wished they would, to things with work and school that I have just had to put my arms up and let be, and battles that are not worth fighting because they do not mean that I have lost the war, 2011 was a year of many, many ups and downs as I am sure it was for many of you - in this, I know I am not alone.

I do have to admit though, that the ups of 2011 have been worth the downs...from the smiles of my children and their improvements with themselves while still excelling at school and  of course - getting bigger and smarter every day, to a new love that has opened my eyes and my heart to something I thought I would never get to experience or deserve to have, to new family and friends that have shown me that there are good people out there and I am lucky to have them in my life...nothing can take those positive feelings away...

So, 2012, now what?

Honestly, I don't know - all I know is that I will have a new perspective on life and those in it. I am getting rid of toxic relationships and those people that choose to take my kindness and affection for granted, I will no longer be their doormat.

Most importantly, I am going to work harder on those relationships that I do value and show the same value for me...my children especially.

While it has been since December 22nd that I have seen them - not a day goes by that I do not think of them, miss them, cry for them, and need them. There is no way that their space in my heart or life can ever be filled unless its by their hugs, their kisses, their "mommy, I love you", and most importantly their happy smiles.

Every daily phone conversation with them (well, almost daily, my children have a more active social life than I do lately it seems! LOL But that is a good thing for them) tells me that they are okay, and that they know I am their mommy and that I love them. Nothing is going to change that, never will it - no matter what anybody says or does - I'm their mommy and always will be.

So, bring it on 2012 - I'm ready for you, the good with the bad because I'm ready to kick ass and take names...show me what you got!

My mind is on vacation and left me behind

Have you ever had those feelings where you have no idea where you are, what you are doing, how you got there, or what the hell is going on? Yeah, these are the moments when your mind goes on vacation and says "screw you, you're staying put!"

Yeah, I'm in that zone right now...

I can only imagine where my mind has run off to.

Maybe some paradise beach in Bali drinking a concoction of spirits and fruits while buff men in tiny shorts fan her until she falls asleep.

Or, maybe she is whale watching off the coast of Maine snuggled up in a nice warm puffy jacket waiting till she gets back to the dock to have some hot chocolate.

No, she must be in New York, walking the streets and admiring the fashion and courage people have to wear what they do as she prepares to decide what Broadway show she is going to watch next.

Wherever my mind is, I really need her back because this aimless wandering trying to figure things out without her cannot be good.

Personally, I would prefer New York.... I'm in a Carrie Bradshaw kinda mood lately

So dear friends and random readers, if you see her anywhere, let her know I'm about to start posting MISSING posters around town if she doesn't get back soon.

Thanks!

Putting things in perspective

This song just reminded me to put things in perspective when it comes to the most important people in my life..(the video is one way of looking at it - but the lyrics an be applied in a number of ways)

Get More: Nickelback, Rock N Jock, Full Episodes

"Never Gonna Be Alone"
by Nickelback

[Verse 1]
Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
You're never gonna be alone
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

[Verse 2]
And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

[Chorus]
You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

[Verse 3]
Oh!
You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes...

[Verse 4]
Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

[Chorus]
You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day,
I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day.