Sunday, January 1, 2012

Well, it's 2012 - now what?

Wow! It's been a while since I have been on here...the dust has really settled - almost set off my asthma!! And the spider webs...oh they are so pretty but oh so scary looking at the same time. I gotta remind myself to get on a ladder and clean those up soon...that is if I plan on staying a while, with me, you never know...

So, what has "out with the old, in with the new" meant for me on this auspicious first day of the year?

Well, it means throwing out all the negative energy that I have had for quite some time and make space for the good things that are to come.

If there is one thing that I have learned from the last few days of the year is that I am in control of my life, nobody else.

Between relationships with family and friends that have not gone as planned or how I wished they would, to things with work and school that I have just had to put my arms up and let be, and battles that are not worth fighting because they do not mean that I have lost the war, 2011 was a year of many, many ups and downs as I am sure it was for many of you - in this, I know I am not alone.

I do have to admit though, that the ups of 2011 have been worth the downs...from the smiles of my children and their improvements with themselves while still excelling at school and  of course - getting bigger and smarter every day, to a new love that has opened my eyes and my heart to something I thought I would never get to experience or deserve to have, to new family and friends that have shown me that there are good people out there and I am lucky to have them in my life...nothing can take those positive feelings away...

So, 2012, now what?

Honestly, I don't know - all I know is that I will have a new perspective on life and those in it. I am getting rid of toxic relationships and those people that choose to take my kindness and affection for granted, I will no longer be their doormat.

Most importantly, I am going to work harder on those relationships that I do value and show the same value for children especially.

While it has been since December 22nd that I have seen them - not a day goes by that I do not think of them, miss them, cry for them, and need them. There is no way that their space in my heart or life can ever be filled unless its by their hugs, their kisses, their "mommy, I love you", and most importantly their happy smiles.

Every daily phone conversation with them (well, almost daily, my children have a more active social life than I do lately it seems! LOL But that is a good thing for them) tells me that they are okay, and that they know I am their mommy and that I love them. Nothing is going to change that, never will it - no matter what anybody says or does - I'm their mommy and always will be.

So, bring it on 2012 - I'm ready for you, the good with the bad because I'm ready to kick ass and take me what you got!

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