Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Starting to look up instead of down

Many of you know that things have been less than hunkey-dorey for me the past year. You have stuck by me and made me laugh when I want to scream and cry as well as told me things will work out...well, you know what? You were right!!

I've started to realize that only time can tell what will happen and we need to let time pass in order to heal andmake it through.

I honestly did not think I would come to the point in my life where I would be satisfied, no, more than satisfied with how things are turning out. I am finally at a point where I can say, things are starting to look up.

My children are healthy, happy, and thiriving. I couldn't ask for more! As a mother, the only thing I have ever wanted is for them to feel as if they are loved and the most important thing in the world, and you know what? They do and they are!!  I can hear it in their voices how good things are for them and that they are surviving through the divorce and change in their lives. It's not an easy transition but they are making it through, and I am so proud of them. Once again, only time will tell but so far they are smiling and doing good. They are communicating better and more often and honestly, they are just the best kids - their smiles are endless and their laugh addictive. I crave the times to see them again and enjoy the time I do get to hear their voice. Keeping my fingers crossed that we can get Skype up and running soon!!

As for school - in two weeks I'll be done!! I will be holding my degree in my hand and patting myself on the back for all the hard work. I never would have thought that through all of the hard times that I would have finished. The many times I thought of giving up and walking away, but I didn't and now, it's almost over. I will have my degree in Psychology and the world at my feet.

Friends and fmaily - they are growing in numbers and affection. I have my few close friends that as days pass we get closer and closer. I can't imagine not having them in my life. My family is growing as well with my cousins who are like my sisters getting married and connecting with other members of my family that I have distanced myself from over the years, I could not ask for more.

And love - well, that has hit me too. When I least expected it and didn't think I deserved it. I was brought face to face with this wonderful man who has stood by my many nights of crying and being desperately crazy beside myself with grief and worry. He has not said a word or done a thing except just be there to hold me tight and listen quietly. He has put a smile back on my face where it was lost and a warmth in my heart that I forgot was possible.

I made a point to myself that this year things were going to be different - that a positive attitude was going to pave my path in life and so far, I think I'm doing pretty good wouldn't you say?

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