Thursday, June 27, 2013

Of stupidity and clarity

Okay, I'm laying myself out there on this one but bear with me for a minute...

About a year or more ago my niece was doing a project for school and asked me to answer some questions for a research project and pose the same questions to some friends and get their answers.

One of the questions was "Do you believe in gay marriage?"

My answer was "No"

Before you attack me and jump down my throat - please read on....

If you look at my FB page you will see many pictures of gay pride and you might realize that my best friend is gay.

So, if I am so proud of my friends and love them and want for their equality how can I not believe in gay marriage?

I answered no because I was angry.

I was angry at the fact that if I have chosen to live my life with a person and not get married for certain reasons, that we do not get the same rights as a married couple. Even though we have been living a married life for some time - we just do not have the paper that says we are.

Why should a paper be the deciding factor as to whether or not he has rights in regard to me and vice-versa?

I know its just the way that things are but really?

Gays have domestic partnerships that afford them many of the same things as a marriage would so what gives?

Yeah, that was my stupid out of anger and frustration and plain naivité.

Stupidity I tell you.

After a conversation with another gay friend I did some research and my light bulb turned on.

It's not the same.

What if the law was that of the whole Catholic thing I grew up with that if you get divorced you can't be remarried - at least not in the church? by a priest?

Well, what if I did want to get married? In my church? Why should some stupid rule be the judge as to whether or not I can marry the person that I love in the manner in which I choose?

So my mind was open to the truth that equality really isn't equality if it isn't, well, equal.

So, am I for LGBT marriage? Hell yeah!!!

I think I always was. I just hated the fact that no matter how long I sit by Mr. Big's side, if we don't get married, then its as if our relationship is not even real. So if I was going to be miserable in that aspect, then so should everyone else.

But its not right. Our relationship is real. Our love is real. And we can take steps to protect our rights as a couple even if we do not get married.

People cannot choose who they love, that's a fact. I don't care what other people say.

But they can choose whether or not they want to spend the rest of their lives together and if they choose to do so, they should have the right to make it a union that is seen as legal and be awarded the same rights and benefits as a heterosexual married couple.

Does it make sense what I'm trying to say? It feels like I'm rambling on.

All I know is that I'm glad that the Defense of Marriage Act was thrown out with the trash.

To my best friend Ali - I LOVE YOU!! And when you find the right woman to marry, I hope that you can. I will stand beside you on that day. Just make sure the dress is not a crazy 80's bridesmaid dress or I'll hurt you!

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