Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Change of thought....

I started writing a post this morning about morning routines and how I found it interesting that while Mr. Big is reading the news on his iPad I'm just checking my Twitter feed and my Facebook page.

It was kinda witty and weird because well, I was writing it at 6:30 in the morning and how alert can I really be at that time right?

Well, as I was proofreading it and going back and forth on my work email, my FB pages, and dealing with customers I came across this image posted by Spectrum Superstars.

It made my heart sink because of my children. It reminded me of so many days in the past and what they have gone through.

As I began to read each line I started to think...

I am the child who doesn't go on playdates.
True - Out of my 6 children, I can only say that 2 have actually gone on REAL playdates at the homes of others without me or their dad or step-mom. But, they have all been part of playdates. You see, I don't consider playdates in the traditional sense as playtime with friends of the same age at another friends house. Heck, the most recent one was the glorious day at the pool on Mother's Day weekend. Playdates are any play time with anyone who wants to play with you. So, in this sense - all my kids have been on "playdates" with friends who come over to visit. They play with children and adults alike.With family and friends at gatherings. They socialize and have their own playdates in their own way so I call that a WIN!

I am the child who is never invited to Birthday parties.
Well yes, the only ones who have been invited to Birthday parties are Princess, Bug, and Baby Girl, but honestly, that's not a bad thing. They get antsy at birthday parties. There's too much stimulation going on for them. Between the balloons, the music, the different foods and smells, and the people and the cake...don't get me started on the CAKE! its too much for them. So its okay because the Birthday parties for family that know them they are good and they know what to expect so its not so much of a struggle for them or us. Wait, did I say birthday parties for family? Yes? I'd call that a WIN too!

I am the child who is left alone in the playground.
There was a time where this was true. I used to worry when other kids would not play with my children but then I realized, they have each other. They play with each other and they love it! Yes, now as they are getting older other children do curiously come to "inspect" them but honestly, if they stay and play great! if not - their loss. Silly and Buddy sometimes prefer to be alone anyways and will walk away from the noise and other children. When they want to play with you, they will initiate it in their own way. So, yeah, sometimes they are ignored, sometimes not, and sometimes they ignore others. As long as they are smiling and having fun that is what matters so I call that another WIN!

I am the child who is always picked last on sporting teams.
I am not going to deny it - I suck at sports! Aside from Princess, my kids are technology geeks. Don't believe me? Here's a picture of them while we were at the park while Princess was having soccer practice...
See the kids in the background? No? Look up and turn around!! 
Not one iota of interest in sports. Baby girl was more interested in posing like a model ...
Don't ask about her foot! That's one of the weird things she does.
Doctor's say she's "fine" - whatever!
So I'm not too concerned in whether or not they are always picked last on sporting teams because I know they would rather not be there.

I am the first to be blamed and the last one to be listened to.
I don't know about this one. I haven't experienced it much because while yes, my children do try and blame one another and others have tried the blame game too, I always ask questions and I know my children and what they are capable of. My children are also awesome in the sense that they will admit when they do something wrong and will even try to tell me their reasoning behind it so the are listened to. Even in school we get wonderful reports about them and any behavioral issues or complaints are addressed with question and answer sessions to the best of their ability so we always try and hear them.

I am the child who has AUTISM and I want to be accepted, included, and treated just like you.
I agree with this 100%!!! They do want to be accepted, included, and treated just like everyone else and it is my responsibility to make sure that they are. Unfortunately I cannot control others in the world. I can just try and teach them a little bit and let my children speak for themselves when something is going on that they do not like.

My children are very lucky that they have each other. They are growing up and finding their own voices and finding their own way through the lives that they live every day. They touch the hearts of those who want to be with them and who take the time to get to know them.

I know that this is not the case with many children on the spectrum.

And it crushes my heart and my spirit to know that.

This is not right and not fair.

As a community we need to make the changes and the differences in their lives that can be positive for them and for others. We also need to teach our children to be who they are and not shy away from it.

It is easier said than done. I know. But its possible.

With love, patience, and time, our children will no longer be judged based on their autism, but the type of people that they are inside, including their autism.

So, I'm just trying to look at the bright side of things and in a way, teach my children to do the same.

The more we recognize the positives in our lives, the better we can handle the negatives.

Writer's Note: While I know the world is not all roses and butterflies, trust me, I know more than most....I do know that if we continue to live in a world that focuses on the negativity, we will no longer be able to see the good things. Yes, my children will face unknown hardships in the future but I hope that the way that our "family" tries to teach them will give them the courage and strength to make it through because they will know that there is something good to look forward to, no matter how small it might be.

1 comment:

  1. Aw. The photo made me tear up because it's basically my son :(


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