Well, actually I'm not totally ready for bed. You see, I'm sitting up watching episodes of Royal Pains on OnDemand waiting for Mr. Big to get home.
He's working late tonight and will have to work even earlier tomorrow.
I never expected this to be honest. I never thought that this would be my life.
Remember how yesterday I wrote about being content? Well, this is part of being content.
This is a new life different from the future I envisioned when I was 16, 25, even 28.
But it is a good life.
I have six beautiful children who fill my heart with so much love and joy. They teach me new things every day even when they are not around. Their smiles and laughter remain in my memory and their stories are on repeat holding me off until my next time with them. They are an integral part of my life and I count the stars with the miracles they have given me and the kisses and smiles they share with me.
I have a man by my side who has given me a new lease on life and helped me find the me that I thought was long gone. He kisses me every morning before he leaves for work and smiles a smile that melts my heart. He takes care of me and allows me to take care of him.
Which brings me back to where I am now, contentment.
I'll sit here and probably fall asleep on the couch waiting for him to come home.
I'll probably dream of my time with my children to come this weekend and then wake up to see Mr. Big arrive home and usher me to bed and kiss me goodnight.
And he will smile at me and I will feel content in knowing once more that things are good and I'm blessed.