Thursday, September 19, 2013

What's in a label?

Hello there my peoples!! How are you on this awesome Thursday morning?

Me, I'm glad to finally see some blue in the sky because the weather here has been beyond disgusting for the past few days. Yes, I know it is rainy season and it could be worse (we are actually the dryest county in the state according to Mr. Big who seems to know everything) so I'm counting my blessings but honestly - rain sucks!

Moving on because I know that you don't stop by here to know how the weather is here.

Yesterday I came across this article about why the word "boyfriend" is the worst word for divorcees.

Me, I'm a divorcee.

And I have a boyfriend - I know - you shuddered at the word!!

It's just what other word is there to use?

I mean seriously?!?

There is partner but that sounds more business than anything. I realized this when I actually called him my "partner" when giving my bio for Train 4 Autism because - well, I didn't want to use boyfriend because it just didn't seem right but there really was no other word that would fit. Once I read the caption to my photo I was like - blech!! I don't like "partner" not one bit!

But the fall back is boyfriend? That just seems so highschool.

We have been in a committed relationship for almost 3 years now so he's more like my husband than my boyfriend (we moved in together at about 2 weeks of meeting each other face to face - yeah, we met via on-line dating - it works people!!) but he's not because we don't have the "legal document"...and well, he does not believe in marriage (he has his reasons and I am respectful of that so I don't want to get into a debate about this - it is definitely not a commitment issue) so I can't call him my fiancé.

Well, okay, its not that he doesn't believe in marriage but he doesn't (makes a whole lotta sense right?)- we have discussed it before and we have left it at "thinking about it" and that is good enough for me.

I'm not going to lie though, there are times that I do call him my fiancé because, well, it just sounds better and he knows I do it and has no qualms with it either.

Do I wish I was Mrs. Mr. Big? yeah - of course I do but I'm happy not being her as well because he is in my life and things are working out amazing awesome wonderful and if its not broke why try to fix it right?

I love his family and friends, I can't wait to meet other members of his extended family. My family loves him as well - heck, my nephew already calls him Uncle Mr. Big. My kids ADORE him which is the even best part of it all - and he adores them right back.

He is accepting of me and all my faults and quirks and insanities (yes, I just made it a word - if twerk is a word, so is this) and still manages to come home to me every day, with a smile on his face and even during the hardest of my moments - still manages to keep me grounded. I say he's a good egg and one I want to keep around.

I'm not putting any expectations on him about his "label" - he is my love and I call him as such (I intertwine between babe and my love).

But I do agree, there needs to be something better than boyfriend for us adult mom divorcees - something better than manfriend that's for sure!

Yeah, he sometimes acts like a boy
 - but boyfriend just does not "fit"


  1. He sounds awesome! Yes, my grandma always felt odd calling her "mate" her boyfriend. She basically called him her love too.

  2. He sounds great! I kinda yearn to use the term "boyfriend" again! It makes me feel young. And it was such a big deal to be able to use it. To not say, "guy I'm dating." Boyfriend. A new level. That's me, though. Calling him whatever is in your heart is best!

  3. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy at all? Meredity always refered to Christina as "her person." That's kind of how I see this. He's "your person." The one you go to when things are good, when things are bad, when things just ARE.
    However, I'm very aware saying Mr. Big is "your person" might sound a bit weird. Such a dilemma finding an appropriate term!

  4. You know what? You're right. I've never really given that much thought, but there really isn't an appropriate term for adults who are in a committed relationship. The good thing is, he's yours, so you can call him whatever you want!


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