No, I'm not procrastinating, not at all...

Well, today is Sunday and it is the day that I usually do housework. You know, clean the bathroom, laundry, clean up the boudoir, and all that jazz but for some reason, I am not feeling it. I also have a paper due today for my Psychology of Learning class, but I'm not feeling that either.

Heck! Give me some credit, I did wake up early!! Mind you it was because Mr. Big woke up to go to work so I woke up too like the good girlfriend that I am to spend the little time I could in the morning with him (but then I did go back to sleep to wake up at 11:45 not wanting to get out of bed).

So, I thought that since this is a new blog away from the one that I had started so many years ago (not really so many, I should stop making myself sound old) I think it is time for a recap for those of you that already know me and for those of you who don't to get to know me :-)

As you all can tell from that big picture up there - yeah, go ahead and look up, I'll wait - yeah, that one - I have six kids. They are all mine, naturally born to me (well the littlest one had to be extracted via c-section - damn child for leaving me with a scar! JOKING - I love my monsters children more than life itself). The oldest five have varying degrees of autism and the littlest one has a physical disability related to low muscle tone but nobody really knows what it is because she has no reflexes or nerve response on her lower left extremities. But she does walk and run with the best of them and gets back up and keeps on going whenever she falls. My kids do not let their disabilities define who they are, they just keep going and enjoy their lives. The two older ones know that they are different while the other four are still to young to realize it but we will cross that threshold when we get there.

I am divorced after almost 10 years of marriage, it just wasn't a marriage any more and we are better off for it. The kids live with him because the divorce was going to be hard enough on them, moving them out of the only home they know and their stability (dad has been a stay at home dad since they were born so he is their rock) would have been even more devastating on them. I see them twice a week and every holiday, birthday, event, etc. I talk to them on the phone twice a day and miss them like crazy. There is not a day that goes by that I don't miss tucking them in and kissing them goodnight. And weirdest of all, I miss being there on those nights where they are puking and coughing everywhere, yeah, that's a mom for you. But I had to do what was right for them and leave them with as much structure as possible. Their disabilities do not accept change too well so the least change the better.

I changed my job too. I had to get out of where I was, aside from the fact that the money just was not enough anymore - the stress was killing me and certain other factors that just made it impossible to work there and do what I needed to do. My new job is great and the people are wonderful. I'm settled and happy there.

The biggest change of all for me has been myself. I have put my foot down and stopped living for others and am living for myself and my children (these are the only "others" I will live for). Nobody is going to define who I am or tell me what to do anymore - I am in charge of my life and only I can decide what direction my life is going into.

This has led me to where I am now and the relationship that I am in right now. I am in a great place with a wonderful man - for all intensive purposes we will call him Mr. Big (no, I am not obsessed with Sex and the City - he is just big.... 6'5" next to my petite 5' - yeah, BIG!).  You will probably find him mentioned across a few posts here and there so it was important to introduce you to him.

Well, that's the latest in a nut shell. The wheels in my head are still spinning to figure out what else to write because I really do not want to write that paper and start cleaning but I have to - I have given myself until 2pm to get the cleaning done and its already 1:33pm - so yeah, I think the procrastination is over for now because if not I will be up until 2 in the morning finishing the damn paper and I really really do not want to do that - I am not a nice person when I don't get sleep!!

So that's all for now folks!