Monday, May 20, 2013

Pour on the Love: You're in Our Hearts #Mikaela Lynch #Owen Black #Drew Howell

I have a heavy heart trying to write this post. You don't understand how many times I have written and deleted the first few lines.

How I've deleted the first few paragraphs.

There is no way to put into words what I am feeling right now but I'm going to try.

Last week I posted about Mikaela Lynch. If you link back now you will see that I have taken down her photos that went along with the missing alerts. I did this out of respect and love for her family.

Such a tragedy. Their little girl's face should not be plastered all over the media anymore.

Her face should be in their home and in their hearts.

Her face belongs to those who love her.

Her story serves as a reminder of how fragile life is and how anything can happen in a split second.

This post is about love. This post is about understanding. This post is about acceptance. This post is about LOVE.

The unconditional love that a parent has for their child regardless of his/her abilities.

The special love that parents of a child with autism have for that unique and special gift they were blessed with.

Understanding that our lives are difficult every day but we truck through them with smiles and hope and LOVE because they are our children and we will do everything in our power to make their lives a better place.

Acceptance in knowing that we are not alone. Acceptance that we are a community of family, friends, teachers, that have one common goal - just living.

We are not here to judge that which we do not know. Nobody can.

Nobody can judge what happened to the Lynch family. Nobody can judge their reactions. Nobody can judge on how they grieve. Nobody can judge anybody. Not me. Not you. Not him. Not her. Nobody.

UPDATE: I am writing this additional part on Sunday because I actually wrote this post on Friday afternoon. Another child with autism went missing this week. Owen Black, 8 years old from Florida. After an exhaustive effort to search for him, his little body was found on Sunday in the waters off of Perdido Key. 

Another child, age 2, Drew Howell was also lost in the same manner this weekend. I am updating this on Monday. I did not even hear about him until I read other posts this morning. 

There are no words to express these tragedies.

It is hard living a life on high alert. Listening to every sound that is made to make sure that your child is still in the house and has not slipped out. Having the reflexes of a jungle cat to move and run when things don't go right. Functioning in a world with locks, alarms, alerts, and chaos.

We sleep with one eye open and an ear to every wall and sound in our homes.

But we are human. We breathe. We bleed. We laugh. We cry. We cry sometimes more than most.

We love our children just as much as you love yours.

Our lives revolve around them.

This could have easily been any of my children.

I know the panics and the fears. I have experienced them. One second of panic can turn into the worst nightmare ever.

Monkey slipped away once. While I was loading his baby sister in the car. It was a second. An instant.

He was 5.

I heard a car horn blaring behind me.

I turned around. He was standing right in front of the vehicle.

Not responding to his name.

Just still. Silent.

No fear. No crying.

My heart stopped.

I drowned out the driver who was yelling at me as I gathered my son into my arms.

I just walked away and said "He has autism"

I yelled at my oldest because she was the one who was helping him into the car.

It was not her fault.

I made sure to let her know.

We cried together as we held her baby brother.

It was not anyone's fault.

It was one second.

That's all it takes.

It is time to listen now. And take in what is going on. It is time to make this world understand that our children are children - regardless of their age or physical appearance. We need to get our communities to stand up and band together to learn about the risks, the dangers and most of all how to work together as one.

First responders need more training. Teachers need more education. Alert systems need to be refined. Reporting timeframes to be improved. Resources need to be gathered and revised and reviewed and revised again. Education. Training. Knowledge. Acceptance. Understanding. We need more of this all.

We need to be a true community. Side by side. Hand in hand. 

We all live in this world together.

For now I close this post because my heart is heavy and all I want to do is take my children in my arms and hold them and never let them go.

To the Lynch, Black, & Howell families and the countless other families like them, you are in my heart. You are in my thoughts. You are in my world. I love you and will never stop educating and fighting because we share one common bond - the love of our children with autism that will never end.

In loving memory of Mikaela Lynch, Owen Black, Drew Howell and the countless angels with autism that were taken too soon. Run and play now with no limits. You are loved now and always.


  1. You're right. We all need more education - thank you for providing it so beautifully:)

  2. I think we've all been there. Great post.

  3. OMG. My heart was in my throat reading this. Madeline (my oldest) did the same thing. I was right there and she went out into the road..there she was standing..just like your little one...not crying..not scared but just curious as to why there was a huge construction dump truck honking at her. (((HUGS))) to you mama. Here's to it never happening again!

  4. Being a parent is so hard. I never understood my parents overkill of worry and nervousness as I was growing up but now that I have kids of my own, I can totally get it now.


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